and...

happy new year everyone!

back to school again and all XD but life's still as it has always been. good, odd, weird, nice, happy enough and enough sadness to get us down once in a while so that we can pick ourselves up again. first day meant talking and mass dancing. planning for cca booth tomorrow and as drama ppl we obviously left everything last minute... it seems like a habit. good? bad? i dunno. we just work that way.

it's brilliant to see everyone again. for some reason it's as if everyone didn't change. i was quite surprised at that. it wasn't like the last few years where all the guys looked like they'd shot up a foot and all the girls seemed to have different/longer hair and/or looked more mature. kinda odd. maybe it's cause i didn't look properly.

level dinner tomorrow. it's really cool, but i can't help getting the feeling that it'll be awkward. plus i'm not sure what to wear? if that's a good reason to worry. i may or may not wear that korean dress... i'm worried it's too hot and rather inappropriate...

mm and somehow i feel words coming to me differently these days. i blame what i've been reading. the book thief? shakespeare? i picked up a copy of a midsummer-night's dream for $2.90 at the big bookshop. i find that i like it. and it's cool to read the old english prose and poetry... i love the rhythm and the sound of it all. more heartfelt and grand? maybe.

somehow i feel that... this isn't a beginning. it's an end. though i'm not sure an end of what. but i keep wanting to hold on, to say goodbye, but when i look at what i'm grasping i don't know what i'm seeing, don't know if i'm really holding anything at all...

kylie gave me a really nice present. i love it. a cd of songs entitled "to cancy, from kylie" (which i really like the simplicity of). a really beautiful selection of songs... from all sorts of places. you know how songs can move people, remind you of things, influence you, comfort you. well i think that a song, given to you by someone, is all the more meaningful. somehow it from now onwards contains the thought and love of that person, and the moving-ness of the lyrics seem to make you recall that person every time you listen to them, and the melody of the song seems to sing to you a small chant, an appreciativeness, a gladness, that's different from if you just found the song on your own... a song given to you by someone else never fully belongs to you, cause in your mind it will always be partly theirs, lent to you, perhaps, a piece of joy they decided to share, a piece of love they decided to give.

mm...

and with it came a little brown book, with pages small and thoughtful, and along the bottom of each page is a line or two from each of the songs from the cd, a few last words, her sentiments of each piece. somehow it was just so beautiful, lines of scribbled blue ink, coming page after page... i knew each one contained a smile and a thought.

and oo i love it

perhaps i'm over-romanticizing here. but oh do let me do so.
i just simply love it...

it is a new year, whether it feels like it or not. perhaps new things will come. of course we will be having new classes, new teachers. i know there is plenty of homework to come. olympics later in the year, always rather exciting...

this year, i have a few wishes, dreams if you will. goals? i don't know. things i want to do.

make my nano story into a picture book
take a third lang (french? jap? can't decide...)
try, keep working for 4.0
sleep at 11, max 11.30 each night
write, write, write to my heart's content
listen to songs, for oh, they touch the soul
love

..

._
_ _


and i've just closed a conversation window
quickly
looking away
for i couldn't bare to see the last few words again
they












mm...