no i just me

haha a bunch of random stuff coming up

just went to the gamelan performance at NUS with rashi and kylie and the gamelan ppl. really nice! i dunno, the sounds are somehow really soothing, and just blend into your mind's rhythm. or maybe all music is like that. haha. whee. if i ever quit drama for some obscure reason, i'll definitely join gamelan. real nice.

mm my obsession with poetry and random writing in my notebook continues. i don't think it'll ever stop, and i hope it wont as well. my notebook's a sort of vent of my emotions, and a good boredom remedy too. it's nice company when you're alone in the canteen and feeling lonely. makes interesting reading, looking back at the past things you thought and wrote. mm yeah..

ahhh! the most busy weekend ever! first, cheerleading. somehow sort out lunch and rush to tampines by 12.45 for church gathering. youth group having a get-together at some chalet.. could be fun. sleepover. church in the morning, rush to vivocity (somehow) and be late for cluster outing since i can't come on time (church ends at 1). arrghhh. then i still have to study for maths when i get back.. still haven't packed!

you know i once watched an episode from Kim Possible, about how she time travelled back to her childhood years, and her 13 year old self saw her present self (16, 17? dunno...). and it just made me think.... what would my younger self have thought of me now? like when i was 7, still completely innocent and only caring about doing well in school and making friends and being obsessed with clubs and drawing and handstands and sesame street (haha), what would i see when i looked at the me now? someone i would want to grow up to be, or someone i'd rather not be associated with? it's strange... how our childhood hopes and dreams somehow become forgotten or washed away, being replaced by new ones, or perhaps none at all...

when you close your eyes, what do you see?
the face of walker - do i day him?
when you block your ears, what do you hear?
his voice his laugh - no i don't day him...
when you're still and in the dark, what do you feel?
his presence, arms tight around you - why am i so confused?
when all is quiet and your thoughts drift to nothing, what do you think?
i love him i love him not - did i do this to myself?
so many thoughts pouring through my brain, i wonder if it gets tired sifting through them all, overworked neurons flashing impulses all the brighter (end of the line). resound, echo....

mm sleep. wonderful sleep. where thoughts are played, for once, slowly.