a post

the reason why i don't blog much is because my need of writing is syphoned off into my notebook. i seem to have a natural unstopable need to write things all the time, which can only be stopped if you confiscate my pencil. really. i lost my pencil for a month before and i stopped writing for a long time. but now that i have it back, i'm writing so much again.
a natural afinity for notebooks and papers and pencils. don't know why.
hmmmmm
but then, i have another option. i can just leave this blog as it is, and continue. i suppose the secrets were all part of my past, and should remain there, instead of being erased. maybe i'll even link this blog to phi.
hmm
but maybe not. i'll just leave it as it is.
and perhaps start a new one.
whee
hmmmm......
memories. 415 trees!!! in the RJC campus! so sad to let it all go.
letting go.
yeah.....





hmm.....




there's a sort of aftermath of WIB. like there's the yahoo group, which is simply dead, but was alive at first. next came the blog, which is like a wave that is now dying out, retreating back slowly into the vast ocean. and the ongoing, sort of rollerblading tempo, one is the forum. slow, but steady.
hmmmm
yesterday was sports day. really enjoyable. did a whole lot of projects in the morning, sat around the canteen during lunch time, but not eating, as there was nothing to eat. talked to a number of people with rashidah. null set, ms tan, yu ting, gan shun, gene(spelling?), jia qian, and more. like a little settlement in the canteen. ms tan gave me 2 hamtaros, which was a complete joke. QUEEN HAMTARO is ms tan herself!!! ha
last minute decision to run for 400m, as people were all injured and they were short of runners. got 3rd, which is good enough. a last trophy before i leave haha.
4x4oo was good, but the third runner in our team got dizzy halfway and had to stop, so we ended up last, but at least we finished! thank you to all the supporters who were cheering when i did that last round. it was really.... great. fun. the way sports should be.
the beauty of sports.
lately, i've been realising many things. many things are beautiful, but may not appear so. it's up to us to look for that beauty. hidden beauty. so many realisations....
hmm...
zebra called me and showed me he was going to take a photo of me with his handphone. i let him be, but took out my digital cam to take one of him back. kylie came back and he took one of her also, and he was now ducking from the cam. we tried to take one of him, and stopped halfway. he thought we had given up, but then i turned around and managed to get one of him. whee. the element of surprise.
i think i'll put something here. take note that this was written on the 30th July, before rider and dragonfly said anything about it. strange how a girl always knows.....

30th Jul 06
I was starting to suspect something. Could zebra's crush on rider have faded, and now he was starting to like raindrop? I didn't think so. Rider was such a better choice. I think. How would I know? But he kept approaching raindrop in the canteen and pulled her ponytail. Now he was talking to her on MSN about nothing in particular. Hmm..... I could be over-suspicious of course.
And the fact that ocean has a rather obvious crush on rider is rather interesting. It was, after all, raindrop who first liked him. Now it has faded more or less, but it is noticeable how ocean likes to be near rider. And he looks at her, in that familiar way which raindrop experienced when she herself liked him. But raindrop doesn't mind rider liking ocean. It has faded, and he isn't "hers" anyway. Rider confessed she could fall for him.
Dragonfly was still in the fuzzy stage. She didn't exactly like name, but it was possible, but it wasn't very "loud" as her crush on pi was. The results on this are still hazy, and it seems to have come to a standstill.
Raindrop was confused. It was true she didn't like null set or ocean as before, but she still felt very happy whenever she was with null set. Perhaps it was pure friendship, perhaps it wasn't. She could not be sure.
Class’ behaviour towards raindrop had been noticed by rider and dragonfly as well. But she didn't know how to react.
It was also obvious the amount of people liking rider. First was dot com, then zebra, zebra's friend, lalala, cd, a few more I forgot, and now ocean. She does nothing, but raindrop and dragonfly tease her sometimes, and life goes on.
I do not want to leave this life. I truly don't. All these things, these little things, the things between the three of us, the things around us, the things we do, the things we've done, yes all these things, I cannot let go, I cannot forget.
And how do you say goodbye?

this is the end of that writing, in case you're getting confused. yeah.... strange.......
lately i've been pondering names a lot. first it was the WIB discussion. then jun yup's blog. there was something else i forgot where. but yeah. names are..... interesting, but just there. it's like identity, it's there, it's sometimes important, or appears so, yet sometimes completely pointless. it has it's influence and effect, but does it matter? hmmm.
oh yeah. i forgot to elaborate on flembel. haha. whee. it's sort of an aliance between fleming and nobel, and it's also a trend that seems to go on in the school. a good example is the three of us. kylie and i are in nobel and rashi is in fleming. also, some of the "pairings" in school are always blue and green. really. strange.
then we're looking out for things like faraming and faranaci. hahaha.
i suddenly got the urge to wear the light blue initium shirt. am wearing it now. strange the things you just sometimes feel like doing.
like sometimes i get the urge to hug someone. especially when they're sad. but these urges are usually impossible to be fulfilled as this person is usually either null set or zebra. see what i mean? strange.
but hugs are nice. really.
haha
hmmm......
thoughts pouring out. this is a very long post.
whee.
mirrored texters!!

-fin-