mum and dad

i owe who i am now very much to my parents.

they call me and i complain about how much work i have (as usual). maths english english and english. and i explain how we have a new syllabus, and about the torture that is SCV. my dad says "just hand it in the next day!"

apparently everyone must experience not handing work up at least once in their lives.

last week i was feeling sick, but i had a lot of stuff i needed to hand up and be present for the next day. mum told me to go get an MC and skip school.

i met various people in the canteen when i came back from the doctor the next day, and explained why i wasn't in school. apparently it's usually the other way around - you want to skip school, but your parents don't let you.

i dunno. it's always been like this. it's only lately that i realise how this doesn't happen to everyone.

i am -encouraged- to relax once in a while, to go downstairs and slack at the piano for an hour, to run around the track at night, to let dad help with chinese when i'm piled with other work. i am considered to uptight about work, too stressed, too bookwormy. but look at me compared to other people in this school. i am downright average in terms of hardworkingness. maybe even more to the slack side lately. but they are fine with that. they have never been worried about my grades. i tell them how my CAPs been floating around the same average area for the past three years and they're fine with it. they let me learn photography and guitar and art (oh art!) whenever and however i like. they tell me i should keep doing gym (though i've dropped out for so long) and teach me qi gong cause it's good for me. and it's incredible cause i just realised how incredibly much they care for me, and how incredibly i've always taken it for granted and not realised how bizarre my family is. and i feel really really thankful for all of this and at the same time i feel really sad cause i know that not everyone has this.

i owe who i am right now to them. the fact that i do my work because i think i should. that i sit in on french and write and sew stuff because i think it's fun. that i am mostly optimistic and that so very few things can get me down, and that i can keep smiling and just try my best. i have a very very bizarre life. bouncing from place to place and meeting new people here and there. i don't know what's going to happen to me but i know that at least for now i've lived an incredibly filled life. that i love them so much.

(perhaps the largest most greatest thing they've taught me is to love the Lord, and follow Jesus. i know that none of the above could ever have been possible if He hadn't planned the way, and helped me along. it's just so incredible how everything fits into place.

awesome.)

i don't know. i have a feeling that i'm going to regret writing this and postponing my work in a few hours. but then i'll think of what i wrote and decide to not care for a while. i've never not passed english work up before =D

today i learnt a lot in church. i'd talk about it here but i suppose it's a little awkward. i'll just say that mm i'm really really glad.

i wonder what i'm here for. besides that. i'm keeping abi kylie jun yup dom in prayer even more for now. i really really want them to be saved and i really really care for them. ever so much. oh Lord...