explosion

I NEED TO POST SOMETHING IF NOT I'LL BURST WITH SUPPRESSED THINGS I NEED TO SAY

first, an excerpt from my notebook, 8 Sep

~~
I want to make a really long post on my blog, but since I've had difficulty getting to a computer, I shall have to write it up instead, and hope to type it up someday.

on the topic of realisations

I've realised that I sleep with my eyes half open. My sisters told me. Like with some of the white showing. But i can't see anyway, even if some of the black is showing. The pupil is still covered i suppose. Haha. Like my dad. He sleeps like that too.

I've realised that I'm now able to stuff more things in my brain than before. Maybe it's because I've taken a nice long break of boredom with nothing to store, or maybe because I've grown up. I've memorised a poem after two readings, and learnt a few somgs on the piano. Quite interesting. I wasn't able to do those things before.

I've realised that youth nowadays have either a rather low self image or a really high one. Rarely do they have something in between. One good example is rashi, who has a low self image, kai hui, who has a big ego (or at least pretends to) , and kylie is somewhere in the middle, which is good. Half teh class is low, and I can only name a few that are high and even fewer that are in the middle. Perhaps we're all getting depressed. Now I wonder why.

I've realised that, since life here is rather dull, uneventful, infruitful, I've had a lot of time to ponder these things, and also to think about life back in sg. It's easier to get sad.

on the topic of life here

School has finally started, and it gives me something to do aka having headaches about chinese. the chinese here is 1. higher level 2. traditional characters. Major headache about conversion and the difficulty.

I remember the first English lesson I ever had in NUS High. We wrote about our daily routines. I'll do that now.

In the morning, I wake up at 7am, which is considerably later than the time i used to. This happens to be the same time null set wakes up back in singapore. lol. We have braskfast at the wooden foldable table
~~

the entry ends here as i was interupted and didn't bother to finish.

next, a poem/song also from my notebook.

~~
forgetting where i am
forgetting where i'm from
forgetting what's the time
forgetting how i long
and what i was longing for

what did you say?

forgetting i was down
forgetting i was lost
forgetting bout reality
tryin to get across
the bridge that'll take me back

what did you say?

talkin to the back of my hand
does anyone understand
i try to hold it inside
it runs from me, and i hide
did you even know?

and i'm forgetting the times
whatever there was in these past lines
the melting crystal which i hold
keeping dust as what was told
is it really the truth?

hanging
lying here
suspended
swimming in air
and i know
that i can't see anymore

mist
water drops
wind
falling through time
and i know
that i'm not here anymore
~~

that's the end for now. it kind of lets all the feeling out.

and now something important before i'm forced to get off

~~
a message to the rider on the white horse:

the mountain once told the rain, as it was falling down the ocean, that the ocean was deep, and that the rain would never reach the bottom.
so the rain fell down, and sure enough, it reached the surface, splashed around, but soon rose up again, floating away as vapour, not to come back ever again.
but one thing the rain learnt, was that the mountain was deep too.

and always remember that
the bottom is cold but the top is freezing =)
~~

hope you got the meaning!

a few more notes on life here:

i have become addicted to the piano. playing on it every day all day (well almost!) i have been persuaded to take piano lessons.

i am finally able to play "waiting" on the piano! thanks kylie!

i am only allowed to go on the com if i don't have any homework, which is never as the chinese teacher promises homework every day. hence you will see me very little here.

a few new subjects i'm taking here:
com class (sometimes get free time here. good)
a maths (haven't figured out whether it's Advanced or Additional)(we're learning cross method by the way)
mega skills (basically it's humanities. this term is art)

in hk, we have to chose between science, art and commerce in form 4 (sec 4). this school is chosing at from 3. i have to chose science to get back to nushigh. hence the mega skills thing. (the other classes dont have the same subjects as we do)

carmen is the only one patient enough to wait for my replies to emails nowadays. getting most updates from her. recently got one from rashi.

i'm sending messages through esp to rider and dfly. also zebra. hope you get them! (i usually send them in class, as they are sooo boring.)

maths is indices. haha
bio is microscopes! lol
chem is atoms! protons neutrons electrons

more later
need to get off

missing everyone too much for words. name a person i don't miss.

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