something from the heart

i'm so mad. angry cannot descibe this feeling. i wrote it, with all my heart. and then the button was pressed, and it was all gone. the repeat was not as good. it will never be. never. never to be seen again.
but i hope the message goes through. that's all i wanted. all i wanted. i hope that i'll stop. being angry.

To Let You Know
i'm sorry if you hate me. i hope you can forgive me. yes. cause i may like you. or liked. i just wish things were well. i wish you well my friend.
i'm sorry if i did something to make you hate me, grudge me. i'm sorry. really. i'm sorry for the fact that i did something to hurt you. i'm sorry for the fact that i'm so stupid as to not realise i was hurting you. i'm sorry. how else to say this??
i'm writing this because i know that i would have done such things, unknowingly. i'm sorry for this. i'm sorry for your hurt. i just hope things were well again. yes, just well again. please. i'm sorry.
loving, hoping, tearing. such emotions. the love of a friend, the hope of a friendship, the tears of joy and sadness. sad for you. sad for me. friends, that's what i want to be.
i hope. somethimes i hope to much. but it keeps me going, in a way. hoping for the joy, the love. yes the love.
i love you. i probably do. please don't take it wrongly. the love of a friend, a sister. i hope you see.
tears, they fall down my cheeks. crying for you, for me, for the world. why must it be so. i don't know.
and as my world fills up with tears, i seem to see clearer. a new perspective, a new look. a new understanding. somehow the tears just wash over, away, through. through the deep. the water. it changed things. it is the water of forgiveness. the water of love. the water that goes deep. deep.
that's what i hope for. the love. just love. just friendship. i'm just writing just to let you know. to let you know.
yes.

-end-

i'm not sure who that's to, what it's for. but i just wrote it. yes. hence it is here. but i wish the original were still here...
sigh.
the world is crashing down, mixing up.
suddenly i'm getting all weird and angry. angst?
nevermind. see you.